thoughts from the g train (gp -> hoyt) - 2026/02/07
this post will be entirely written on a single G train trip from greenpoint to hoyt schermehorn; the moment i get off the train, i'll stop typing. i don’t care if it doesn’t end up being complete!
im forced to do this since i was awful with my time management today. i’m now running a few mins late for a dinner (where im introducing my partner to some of my friends (not a good thing to be late for)), and i'll likely be busy for the rest of the night. so here i am, writing my daily post on the g train. what’s interesting is that this will also be the first post written entirely on a phone. I high key hate it, but it’ll have to do. Floor-it February!
i have too many things to say about the g train, and so i won’t use this post to do that. I gotta do the g train justice! instead, i recognized a funny thought pattern when i was rushing to the g train for my dinner. specifically, even though i knew i was gonna be late before i had left the house (i had pre calculated what time i needed to leave the house), i found myself repeatedly opening citymapper to see when i'd arrive and how late i would arrive. while i think this may not seem too absurd, looking at the eta to get there does nothing to get me there any faster. this is especially true since there’s only one way to get to there from my place, so it wasn’t even for the possibility of an alternate route now becoming more ideal. it would’ve been faster and better for my mentals to just get out of the house and walk as fast as i reasonably could to the g train stop.
all things considered, this is a relatively benign instance of this pattern of behaviour. checking citymapper takes a total of 2 seconds, and i don’t think it made me dramatically slower. but i think in realizing how silly this repeated lookup was, i also realized that i do this with many other things. namely, i am a victim of feeling a deep and unsatiable desire to get as much info on something when i’m stressed/anxious about the subject matter, even if that extra info really does nothing to make my actual conditions better. and even when i’ve logically exhausted all the info i can get (e.g. seeing all the reddit posts on a topic), like a drug addict i find myself re-searching the info over and over and over, on the off chance something changes. good ol obsession; im sure this is my most neurotic behaviour.
g train ride done, i think i want to continue this thought tmrw.